I got your war on Christmas RIGHT HERE…
Disaster has struck. But we’re not talking about financial ruin or campaign meltdown or any completely manageable problem. Nope. This disaster is beyond all containment.
It’s December. And even with a plan, and the best of intentions, and capable guides at my disposal, I’m an emotional trainwreck.
Moms should not die around holidays. Let’s get the president on an executive order for that. It screws people up exponentially more than just regular old dying. And lets put a moratorium on decorating with ANY holiday trinket or bauble that was ever purchased specifically to hang in a hospital room, shall we? Cuz for god’s sake, no one wants to look at a Christmas tree that was bought because it fit neatly on the sliding table in the cancer wing at Seton. And while we’re at it, how about we all get the hell over this whole ridiculous “War on Christmas” thing and just accept any friggin wish anyone wants to give us in December? Personally, I don’t give a shit if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday or Festive fucking Ramadan. It’s a well wish. Smile and say thank you, you self righteous pricks, and then go about celebrating in whatever way you choose.
I’m going to spend the next 10 days baking breads and cookies, wrapping presents I spent too much money on, doing my level best to be cheery and compassionate and drinking too much wine each night to avoid being short tempered with the husband and minions. But Christmas, this year and every other year, can kiss my ass. It’s been an abomination since 1998, and it’s been relentless in its attack on my well being. And stories of Wal-mart pepper spraying and deficit spending on iPads and BMWs do nothing to make me feel better about the season. So bring on your cheer, your prayers, your greetings, your new year’s resolutions. I welcome them all. Just know I’m ill equipped to accept them properly. Cuz I’m some broken goods right now, feeling my way through the end of the calendar, and hoping for a resurrection sometime in January.
Happy whatever.
